In the United States, about half of the marriages end via divorce. A divorce is reported to happen around 2,400 times a day just in the U.S. Every divorce has resulting affects on other people involved or around the marriage. So, divorces will certainly affect the children of the marriage. For instance, in the same place I found the statistic above I found one saying if your parents are happily married, you are less likely to get a divorce. Also, half of all American children will witness the divorce of their parents. Will that divorce have a long-lasting affect on the kids in a largely negative way or not?
The most common assumption of divorce is that it destroys children in unparalleled ways. It’s said that it sets a terrible example for how kids should love, and it leaves damage to them to believe their parents don’t love them. It’s also been brought along that children have physiological damage to their health. A cross-sectional study (a study across different age groups) of divorced and intact families was brought to attention. They used over 450 kids out of these select types of families from ages 2 – 18 years of age. They showed that children of separated families are twice as likely to develop problems with their stomachs, private parts, skin, and brains. The cause is supposed to be caused by the stress of the divorce. Researchers said not even the divorce is the problem, the problem is how the parents handle the divorce. Another article said there are 2 reasons why a divorce can harm children. 1 reason is because there is said to be fewer resources for the kids. Generally, there is less income coming in, and less of a support system because there may be less contact with one parent. Most single parents tend to become more authoritarian (they will make rules and expect you to obey to the fullest) or permissive (they tend to make few demands/punishments and are more laid back). The other reason is that kids view the divorce differently than the parents. Kids often become confused and feel like the separation is almost their fault. Especially if the parents seem to get along after the split, a kid may think that parents couldn’t handle the child together causing the divorce. Usually this type of confusion will result in the kids falling into a depressive state.
There’s many places that totally disagree with that last paragraph. They’d say divorce doesn’t have as bad of an effect as the other side says. The one article that told of the health problems of divorced kids also gave an example of why divorce doesn’t totally harm a kid. In this small rebuttal, it said the stress of divorce doesn’t show any change in breathing, heart, or muscular issues. There was no increased risk for allergies, hearing, or sight problems. Other articles say a bad divorce teaches kids; it teaches them what not to do when they are older. They said there are classes that parents can take to show them how to handle their kids through a divorce. This is coming from another article that says a good divorce is better than a bad marriage for kids. They say it’s the fighting between parents that’s bad, not the separation of the parents. 2 argument free homes, is better than one filled with violence and bickering. The divorce and agreement of 2 parents separating, help children learn the matter of compromise. In 2002, a psychologist from the University of Virginia found that many children who recently go through a divorce experience only short term negative effects. They develop anxiety, anger, and disbelief and a majority of those children get rid of those symptoms between the 1st two years. Divorce generally doesn’t have a long-term effect on children.
Me personally, I agree with the latter of the two arguments that I displayed. I think divorces do hurt children, especially the fighting within, but it’s how you deal with them that leaves the impact. One of my best friends growing up had to deal with the divorce of his parents, and of course that made him sad. I think he often felt lonely, even though he still had both of his parents, his 4 siblings, and all of his friends. His dad owned 5 McDonald’s franchises, so he often would cope with his pain by eating it away, this resulted in a significant weight gain. Fast forward, he turned into a normal guy for the most part, he lost a lot of weight gained by aforementioned eating. He was on the high school tennis team, had a lot of friends, and is currently attending Drexel University. I think at times he still feels lonely, like it seems as if he would disconnect from our friend group for certain periods of time. I think he is just an emotional guy though, whether that’s a direct result of his parents’ divorce, I’m not sure. I just know for the most part he turned out well even though he had to deal with his parents’ divorce.
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/kids-divorce-risk-health-issues-study-article-1.3192778
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/
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